Projectile Vomit? Cool. Now what?
The twisting of the face… the look of panic in the eyes… the stomach grab… the “I don’t feel so good”… it all happens in slow motion. The opening scene of Pitch Perfect, the plane scene from Bridemaids… all over your serene, beautiful classroom. It’s a law of nature that vomit can’t be a calm, quiet, subtle event. Oh no. It’s a whole horror film, every time.
My second year teaching was when I had my first student get sick in the classroom and that’s when I realized the first Classroom Vomit Experience truth: it’s pretty much always projectile.
This fact infinitely doubled when the trashcan happens to be across the room. Which leads me to truth #2: the trash can is always across the room.
One second I was teaching about adding fractions (barf, am I right?) and the next second, the sentence “I don’t feel so goo…” gets interrupted with the reason why said student didn’t feel so good.
Slow. Motion. Horror. Film.
Nothing was spared. Desks, papers, floor, book boxes, other students.
I went into classic Car Wreck Mode. I just stared. And then it happened. I realized the third Classroom Vomit Experience truth: As the teacher (and only adult in the room), I was not only in charge of containing my lunch (and composure) but also caring for said throw upper, making a game plan for the now toxic situation evolving in my room, AND handling and directing 24 other traumatized third graders. Three things I had zero plan for. Cool. What now?
As it turns out… this was not a topic they covered in my college courses or on Professional Development days. It was from this experience (and the many other repeat occurrences I had over the years) that I developed the aptly named acronym THROWUP to help me remember steps to follow when my brain (and stomach) no longer seemed to know how to function.
How to Handle Throw Up in the Classroom
“T.H.R.O.W. U.P.”
TRASH CAN: Locate and move the trash can right beside “throw upper”… because they say what happens once… might happen 8 more times.
“HEYYYY you guysss!”: Yep, the other 24 students you’re in charge of - get their attention focused on you and have them FREEZE. This prevents:
further embarrassment for “throw upper”,
students driving the narrative i.e. “ewwww, he just threw up!”, and
anyone walking through the Nickelodeon Awards Stage.
(Bonus: This also gives you a minute to assess the damage and make an exit strategy if needed depending on size and projection of germs. Options might include early recess or moving to class across the hall for an impromptu Read Aloud while the hazard team resets your room).
REMOVE and RELOCATE “throw upper” (and REMIND class to stay frozen). Ask if they are able to carry the trash can with them or if they need help. (Note: the trash can travels with the student. This serves two purpose - removing potential odor amplifier and giving the student a target if needed as they move to the nurse).
OUTLINE the damage zone with physical boundaries. As we noted before, students will suddenly develop amnesia and walk through it. Yes, even two seconds later. I one time had a student RUN through the area (prior to knowing this step) and FALL into the area and then proceed to ALSO get sick. (To be honest, I almost did, too.) Never again will I make that mistake. Use chairs, desks, whatever you can to create a visual, physical boundary. (Bonus: this also helps the custodian see where they need to clean and prevents them from…well…walking through it. Yep, I’ve seen that happen, too. Not pretty.)
WALK your students out of that germ factory. Treat them like you’re in an art museum… except maybe don’t look at the “art.” Hands to yourself, keep it moving, we are headed across the hall, etc.
UPDATE necessary parties (the custodian, nurse, office, team teachers, etc.) as to where you have moved and what needs to be cleaned (and why).
PRAY no one else gets it. And (s)pray Lysol all over your room on your next break. And in your eyes. Kidding. But you know, disinfect all the things.
Throw up - it happens. Germs and sickness and grossness are part of the elementary classroom. And those sweet babies haven’t always had enough experiences to know what’s coming. But no worries! Now YOU know what’s coming so you don’t throw up, but instead just T.H.R.O.W. U.P.:
Trash can
Heyyyy you guysss
Remove, Relocate, Remind
Outline
Walk
Update
Pray
Want more tips for the classroom? Check out these posts!
